I come up here all the time to tell everyone how much my life suck. Hey, don't blame me. Because there's just nothing in my life now that can make me do otherwise.
I don't like the fact that I get annoyed so often. I loose my temper so easily with my younger sister. I would scold her until she cries; even when its not her fault. I know what I do is wrong but the weird thing is I don't feel bad about it. The only time I feel bad is when even my maid told me I should
Its the first day of Chinese New Year, and yes, that part annoyed me too. My mom would get me to do things to my hair that I absolutely hate, and the end product I will look like the family's Indonesian maid.

My parents tried talking to me. I told them every time I looked into a mirror, I will start losing my temper. No joke. I get very angry when I look into a mirror. I seriously don't get it. I once had okay complexion, and now, its horrible. I control my eating habits, drink plenty of water, do everything my facialist asks me to do and now look at me!
I'm so pissed. Seriously I am, it really drives me to the wall. My friends, they all have good skin, and they just wash their faces, no facial, no applying bla. I apply this that 4 times a day. Apply mask everyday or once every 2 days and I never miss it. I was never this hardworking in my life.

And look at me now! I feel like breaking every mirror I see.

Its first day of Chinese New Year, and I had urges to cry already.
My 10 year old cousin, the younger of the twins told me something I didn't wanna hear. That really made me cry. No matter how many mirrors I break, there will always be human mirrors around me. Living ones.

I used to be so happy, cheerful. But what the mirror reflects.. It changes things.

Its unjust. It really is. I had a great life, a happy one, with lots of friends and family love.

Family love... I know I told you guys that I don't mind staying at home. That its okay you guys go grab a drink with your friends or whatever. But seriously, on the first day of CNY? I remember both of you will come up with so many fun activities to make us feel festive and all.. Until you started going out so often with your friends.

You come home so late or should I say early morning? You don't kiss me goodnight anymore. Yuki's turning into one hell of a bitch and do you even care what Kelvin does? We used to have fun, go out and play. But you guys are too busy now, drinking. Daddy never drank alcohol until I was 14. Was it because of what I done that year you both started drinking?


I don't mind you guys drinking, but I mind how less you guys are around with us compared to the previous years. You go out most days of the week, and when you don't, you guys would just take the remote control from us. I don't dislike your friends, but I dislike that they are taking you away from me.

Do you know I stay up late at night waiting for you guys to come back even when you ask me to go to bed at 9? I would stay up until 2 in the morning and both of you would still not return. I would already be to tired and I will sleep.

Now I'm at home. Doing my homework which I stopped doing after I wet my add math exercise book with my tears. Its the first night of CNY, and here I am. Alone.

No one understands how I feel. Oh yeah? Feel this : I used to look confident, because I had presentable skin. And because of that I felt good. I had a lovely family too. Caring parents who have great sense of humour. I used to have friends too, who I love and I think love me back. And I used to have someone really special, who would always motivate me and moves me forward.

But things changed, I look like crap. My parents aren't always around and they say things I don't want to hear. Friends, see for yourselves. I barely have any. They don't care about how I feel and they don't even try caring. Apologies unsincere, and oh yeah, when was there apologies right? I only have a few friends that I know are true. And they are all about to leave me soon anyways. I'm sorry I give you guys crap everyday at school. Trust me, I don't want to be there.

I lost everything that was important to me. Who ever to took them all away, I want them back. I want them back bad.

Screw emotions. they make me feel like a weak fag.

"HAPPY" CHINESE NEW YEAR.