*you can't see me*


Heeeyyyy everybody. So, my blog's been pretty much dead recently so hello hello!

Okay, updates about my life.. Lets see. I bought a webcam! I'm so thrilled I feel like I've been raised by apes my whole life. That sure explains the excessive amount of hair I have :( This is one of the topics I might blog about some other time: Excessive hair.

You know what? I'm just gonna do it now.

I remember those days that I pray will never have to repeat, in my childhood, I was raised by my grandma and I was very famous for my hair, and how round I was. :( My hair was extremely curly ( i might scan a picture some other time ) and also I had a lot of body hair as well. My arms, my legs.. they're all very visible. I remember that was this one guy in a mini grocery store who called me "Mou Mou", which in cantonese means, hairy. Ha! I know, this is so embarassing.

But there are things that I am proud of.. Because I have so much hair, the hair on my scalp, grows pretty thick pretty fast. I used to have shoulder length hair last year, and right now, as I sit down, its reaching for my waist. Other than that, there's my eyebrow.. I know some people who has so little hair, their eyebrows are barely visible. (not gonna mention any names here) Mine is really thick. Sometimes it gets outta shape but it still looks okay. My sister has an-almost-unibrow. She has a lot of hair too. But unlike my sister, I have another gift. My eyelashes. Its probably the feature I have that I'm most proud of.

My eyelashes are long. But the fact that I have natural curly hair since I was little, my eyelash curled too, fortunately, upwards. Even since as a toddler, I had long curled eyelashes. People always ask me if I used an eyelash-curler everyday. I get flattered sometimes. But people, like my darling YihMeng, who thinks I put on fake eyelashes can make me think he's nuts.

But most of the time, people just tend to get judgemental and stereotypical. I don't blame em'. Life's too short for me to start blaming each and everyone who stare more than four second at my forearms, because who the hell knows how many people does that. Despite how positive I think of this matter, I get hurt. Yes, this cheerful cheeky insane young little girl gets hurt too.

You guys think I haven't tried removing? Shaving is a no way. Remember how I said they grow pretty thick pretty fast? Here comes the downside of things. Shaving makes the newborn hair thicker or as the chinese say rougher and it'll tend to curl. Believe me, no girl want that faux pas to happen.

As for waxing, I tried that too. My mom bought Nair products for me to use and guess what? Instead of getting my stubborn hair to remove, I got a week of red patches and itches. Nope, that was not the outcome I was hoping for.

My mom always told me, every attempt I did to make myself less ugly and more beautiful only backfired me. In every attempt, I fail miserably. And I'll look even worse. So no, don't say I didn't try. Don't say I don't even care, when I really did and failed then look like crap.

Seen what ear piercings done to me? Seen what happened when I try using another face mask to improve my flawed-to-the-extreme complexion? My mom's right. There's no way out. I'm borned and fated to be ugly. Now I'm beginning to worry what will happen if I get braces (if I ever get braces..btw, its suppose to be my 7A's for PMR reward).

It's really hypocritical, if I told everyone not to judge me. Because, the most cruel,harsh and critical judge ever, is myself. I scrutinize every flaw there is about myself; every minute, every hour, every day. It never ends. So just for your information, I don't need you guys to mirror me. I've got enough mirrors to kill my self esteem already. My mom would be the biggest, thank you.

Argh.. I feel like I've been sucked in some blackhole and then drowned by self pity. This blows. But I guess, its because I really do love myself. Thats why I care. Why would I care if I didn't love in the first place right? So don't say I have to love myself. I know thats the greatest love of all, to love oneself. I know that.

So haha, this is one hell of a blog post aye? So hmmm... So current updates about my life.. I'm going to Korea suckers! Whoooossshhh.. haha, don't feel bad for yourself... my family's been saving alot for a long time for this trip. 2 years folks, I damn well deserve to go; the furthest I've ever went was Singapore and it was a school trip!

I'm leaving for the airport on Friday 10 pm. But technically I'm leaving for Korea on Saturday 00:00 hours :) 12 in the morning, yes.

So au revoir :D

Labels: beauty, emotions, random, vacation